Hours awake so far: 96.75
days since last ate: 23
I'd gotten to about...13 days without any water or other drink aswell.
But at about 3am this morning, I could see beetles crawling all over me, and I don't think they were really there. So i got a glass of water, and sipped it over the course of four hours. Gave me something to do. The sky was actually light at 3:39am. It was pretty.
When I don't eat or drink, and stay awake, i am privileged with pretty sunrises.
It doesn't even matter to me anymore that I can't sleep. I feel powerful. I NEED NOTHING.
I watch my boyfriend eat, when we're together. I know that I am stronger.
I sit across the room from him when he eats. I just watch him.
I know he doesn't want to bring it up. HE DOESN'T WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE FACT THAT I NO LONGER NEED SUSTAINANCE. I don't need sleep.
My mind is clear, and I feel good in the early hours of the morning, when I think long and hard about everything there is.
I feel like I know MORE because I have LESS,
and because I feel this way, I know that I HAVE MORE because I TAKE LESS.
I feel bad for people who haven't got this knowledge. When I walk in the street, people either don't even look at me, or they stare. I know I'm ugly. But they are waste receptacles for consumable garbage and swill.
They sleep in their beds at night and dream their worthless dreams, while I am awake.
seeing everything for what it REALLY IS.
Even the glass of water tarnishes my new state of power. I can taste blood at the back of my throat.
Punishment for consumption.
I am sorry, Claudie.
I will stop putting things inside me. We do not need them.
Jemimah
xxxx
Powered by WebRing.days since last ate: 23
I'd gotten to about...13 days without any water or other drink aswell.
But at about 3am this morning, I could see beetles crawling all over me, and I don't think they were really there. So i got a glass of water, and sipped it over the course of four hours. Gave me something to do. The sky was actually light at 3:39am. It was pretty.
When I don't eat or drink, and stay awake, i am privileged with pretty sunrises.
It doesn't even matter to me anymore that I can't sleep. I feel powerful. I NEED NOTHING.
I watch my boyfriend eat, when we're together. I know that I am stronger.
I sit across the room from him when he eats. I just watch him.
I know he doesn't want to bring it up. HE DOESN'T WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE FACT THAT I NO LONGER NEED SUSTAINANCE. I don't need sleep.
My mind is clear, and I feel good in the early hours of the morning, when I think long and hard about everything there is.
I feel like I know MORE because I have LESS,
and because I feel this way, I know that I HAVE MORE because I TAKE LESS.
I feel bad for people who haven't got this knowledge. When I walk in the street, people either don't even look at me, or they stare. I know I'm ugly. But they are waste receptacles for consumable garbage and swill.
They sleep in their beds at night and dream their worthless dreams, while I am awake.
seeing everything for what it REALLY IS.
Even the glass of water tarnishes my new state of power. I can taste blood at the back of my throat.
Punishment for consumption.
I am sorry, Claudie.
I will stop putting things inside me. We do not need them.
Jemimah
xxxx
you are absolutely amazing and i admire your strength! I really am trying to figure out how I would ever be able to do what you are doing. i'm seriously in awe right now!
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