Well...earlyish july saw me in IP. A few weeks have passed and I still can't believe it all happened. I was allowed out at a weight of 105lbs.
The last time I weighed myself at home before recovery, i was 79lbs. Can you imagine how gutted i am??
so I am now 1o3lbs, and moving into a new flat with my boyfriend this saturday. Starting university on the monday. A degree in Nutrition....ironic, eh???
Got better grades than i thought, due to working constantly to avoid eating! double edged sword.
So was able to play the field, and get on a course i had thought out of my league.
Flirting with the idea of a fast. The part of my brain that is brainwashed by recovery tells me not to mess up the prospects of university.
But then the rest, through which my loyal parasite speaks whispers...don't lose. Don't lose me.
I know i'll never lose it. It is me, and I am it.
We go through such difficulty, trying to function when our world is our bubble of hunger and of lies.
I know i should definitely try to be more regular with this...it straightens my head out a little.
So far today, i have drank a cup of tea and apart from that i am empty, and it feels like home.
Love,
Jemimah
xxx
The last time I weighed myself at home before recovery, i was 79lbs. Can you imagine how gutted i am??
so I am now 1o3lbs, and moving into a new flat with my boyfriend this saturday. Starting university on the monday. A degree in Nutrition....ironic, eh???
Got better grades than i thought, due to working constantly to avoid eating! double edged sword.
So was able to play the field, and get on a course i had thought out of my league.
Flirting with the idea of a fast. The part of my brain that is brainwashed by recovery tells me not to mess up the prospects of university.
But then the rest, through which my loyal parasite speaks whispers...don't lose. Don't lose me.
I know i'll never lose it. It is me, and I am it.
We go through such difficulty, trying to function when our world is our bubble of hunger and of lies.
I know i should definitely try to be more regular with this...it straightens my head out a little.
So far today, i have drank a cup of tea and apart from that i am empty, and it feels like home.
Love,
Jemimah
xxx
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I'm super glad you are ok <3
ReplyDeleteWell welcome back girly! IP is scary... at least you're ok! Nutrition? lol Thats funny but whatever works! 103 is still very lovely!!! xoxoxox
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